Happy Mother's Day, Moms out there.
Power to ya!
Here's hoping kids learn to be very, very appreciative, when they do have great parents, and great Moms.
Why I'd Make an Odd Mom
1) I grumble anytime I am woken, even if I wake up of my own volition. So much for late night diaper changes! Screw that shit!
2) I like the toys more than the kids do. I might fight them for the toys.
3) I'm the furthest from Betty Crocker. My idea of a "good cooked meal" is to throw some chicken in the bake and some beans in a pot. Seasoning eludes me.
4) I hate birthday parties, kids' parties, or, hell, ANY parties. Blech.
5) I don't know much about soccer. I hear it's called 'futbol' overseas.
6) I believe in spanking; screw that time-out garbage. Hey, my ass was spanked plenty; my kid would get the same. No back talkin'!
7) I have weak arms; can barely lift Sgt. Pepper, and he's only 12 pounds.
8) If I had a husband, I'd prefer to be in the sack a lot; can't do so much of that with kiddies. haha
9) I don't wear "sissy shirts." You know the ones I mean, Moms.
10) I'm no good in hospitals. I'm too busy freaking out at my own neuroses to be collected. Try not to scrape too many knees, Johnny!
And the biggest one: I am a neat/clean freak, so I may have conniptions if anything in my home was messed up, ever! NO MESSES, Johnny! Got it? haha
haha
I am kidding. Mostly.
Have a great weekend, All.
2 comments:
Hahah I laughed out loud at your list. I think it works for dads too. I would be a rubbish dad because:
1) I am a morning person. I would get really peed off if everyone else in the house wanted to sleep in. What a waste of a day
2) The toys thing. Oh yes. I am still enjoying my first childhood, so if anyone came and wanted to play with my toys they'd better be prepared for a long wait
3) I love to cook but if anyone doesn't like what I cook, I point at the kitchen and say "You know where the Peanut Butter and bread is, get to it!"
4) I hate birthday parties, kids' parties, or, hell, ANY parties particularly those involving spiderman makeup.
5) I hate football. Soccer. Whatever. There is only one sport I enjoy and that's Roller/Ice Hockey.
6) The spanking thing also. Never did me any harm (twitch)
7) I am a total workout freak. If I don't hit the gym or exercise, I truly believe I turn into Orson Welles overnight.
8) The sack thing. Hey wait a goldarned second this list is beginning to sound like a parrot fashion repeat of yours!
9) Old people clothes. I don't do them. I don't like cardigans, comfy slippers, I don't "DO" dad-style sweaters. I have never smoked a pipe. I refuse to grow old gracefully.
10) I am actually allergic to hospitals. It's the smell, I can't stand it. Bleeee!
Nice list but eerily too familiar. Wanna get hitched? :)
Peej
x
Peej!
Nice to know there's someone who's on a similar page as me. :)
So we'd be a pair of soccer and party-hating, hospital-phobic, sex-crazed, Big Kids who hog the toys! haha
:) We're funny. :)
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