It was a Dark and Stormy Night

Chapter 1,002
Jimbo came tumbling into the room, with a surly look on his haggard face. He couldn't believe his life had become such a brooding mess. He constantly wondered why everyone called him 'ol' frowny face' but yet he never felt the need to smile.

Chapter 56
Bang! She slammed the toilet seat down and yelled, "How freaking hard is it to drop a freaking seat down???" He ignored such things, and instead focused on the porn on the TV screen. "I've never seen such horrid acting in my life," he thought to himself. "But, nice rack."

"Have you been practicing your Japachinese? Huh? We have to get the heck outta dodge soon, you know!!"
"Quit nagging me, woman! Jesus Christ."

Reader, these are truly a bunch of pointless hicks. Come to think of it, so are YOU, reader, you Ding A Ling.

Jimbo remembered when they made out in the rain once before. Wow, was that fun.
He also remembered the endless sneezing that followed: "AhhhhCHOOOO! God Bless America! Nice idea, Jim, to stay out there in the rain! Who did you think we were, anyway? Naturalists? Screw that!"

"Look, Thelma, I'm just trying to have some fun before He Who Is an Evil Bastard comes around and machettes us all. So shut yer trap."

"Fine. I'll just be over here shooting up heroin. Yowza."

He wondered if she had noticed that doe-eyed teenager who stared them down and her gruff husband, who looked more than a little bit like he belonged in an outhouse.
Sure, he had bilked her out of $4,000, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Or it couldn't hurt him. He could never remember that damned phrase.

Meanwhile, Reader, OMD's "If You Leave" plays on the radio. That song is AWESOME, Reader. If you don't agree, you are clearly a Ding Dong. Am I a reliable narrator? What? Who are YOU callin' unreliable?

"Did you see that man who just checked in to this hotel? He was BIG as a HOUSE! Holy Smokes!"

"It's not nice to talk about people that way, Thelma. We're not all little stick people like you are. You whore."

Pretty soon after, the folatzes came and took Thelma and Jimbo to the grootza.

He looked at Thelma! They had a knowing look in their eyes! They knew how they could escape!

Jimbo said, "THAT ROCKS!"
And they broke their way out of the moving police vehicle.

In the end, they all agreed: Water is great.

'Fin'


hahaha
Well, there it was. I used most of my nonsensical writing tips and wrote that.
That might get me in 'Goofs USA Weekly.' haha

I'm trying to recover from the Blessed Mowing Experience just now. Lord help me!
I know I looked weird out there with a doctor's mask on, but it truly helps with the grass and dust and pollen, etc. But still, it tires me out.

Have a great eve, All.