I work with some hilarious people. Seriously! One of the truly funniest is a very kind-hearted Indian who I'm going to call "Rainbow" (Rain for short). I've worked with Rain for a few years, actually, but have gotten to know her a little better lately. I love people with a very interesting and often different point of view or life experience. She's young (I feel like a Senior citizen compared to her! 22! Sheesh!), but is one of the sharpest knives in the drawer; she thinks mathematical-type things are "fun." haha Well, I've been told I am actually very good at basic computations, but I have a lot of insecurity about math for some reason. Thank God for calculators! Anyhow, my impressions of Rain from the start have always been very positive. You know those people who seem all smiley and pleasant, all the time? This is how I saw Rain. And the more you know her, the more you see the cynical side. I have to love it!
Dumb Things My Dept Did #1: I used to work the emails for our services division, before I joined my current team working emails for retail. They had me "train" Rain on this task, since I wasn't going to be doing it anymore. "Training" around here consists of sitting with somebody, and telling them, "Well, here's this and this and this. Have fun." So about 6 months later, one of the supervisors says, "You'll need to get with Rain to go over how to do emails for the services." WHAT?!
I showed her how to do it, people! It's not like I forgot! Sheeeeeesh! haha
Dumb Things My Dept Did #2: Hiring people with no PC skills? To work emails?
This story includes two co-workers; Rain and my fellow-obsessive "Salt." She's of mixed heritage, but I call her "Salt" because, one day, another friend was joking, and said we should be called "Salt n' Pepa." Remember the group from the 80's? So I said, "No, WE'D be called "Salt n' Salt!" because she's the whitest black person I have ever met. Almost as white as I am. That's pretty damn white. haha
*******
Well, that was a GREAT break! I can't believe I have to come back here, to this dull place. Oh, well. At least we work at our desks all day, and can be left alone. God, I'm tired. Going to bed at 2:00 in the AM really bites the day after. Damn me and my night-owl tendencies!
What the Hell?
"Rain, we're letting Newbie here sit with you today. You can show her the ropes. Yes?"
God Damn it! Why can't I be more like Salt? Salt always tells people, "Hell, no, you're not sitting with ME! I don't get paid for that."
"Ok, sure."
Well, it'll look good to the supervisor, anyway. That woman loves to walk up behind people and spy on them. And then send them emails and Instant Messages about their "stats." She really needs an enema.
Newbie: "I've been here 15 years, but not in this department."
Rain: "Oh, well, it's easy here. Templates are already created (by a great writer, I might add), people are willing to help, and the emails get really repetitive after a while. So let's start out."
Newbie: "What's that button?"
Rain: "You mean, Backspace?"
Newbie: "What does it do?"
Rain: "Umm...." HOLY HELL! SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE BACKSPACE DOES! "You can go BACK and erase things, with that key."
Newbie: "Oh, great! I need to write these things down."
SHE'S WRITING THIS STUFF DOWN! Help!
Rain: "Now, here's the quickest way to work these....."
Newbie: "How did you copy that? I didn't know you highlighted to copy?"
Control, C. Dumbass! Control V. Wow. My grandmother knows more about a PC. What on Earth did this woman DO for FIFTEEN YEARS???
I am about to cry. Seriously. Who can be this F-ing dumb?
Marty: "Hey, Rain! How's it going?"
Rain: (Out of earshot of Newbie) "We've spent all morning learning about the Delete and Backspace keys! Help me!!"
Marty: "WOW. I mean, WOW. I'm speechless. Hang in there, dear."
Rain: "Well, there's always two sides to a coin."
Marty: "Ah, yes. Postive thinking. I like it. Good people will be rewarded, remember that."
Rain: "Yeah, when we DIE. What good does that do me NOW?"
Marty: "Stop it, you're killing me!"
Salt: "What're y'all talking about?"
Marty: (whispers) "This woman doesn't know the first thing about a PC! Rain is about to lose her mind trying to teach this fool about the Backspace key and how to COPY!"
Salt: "Damn, we learned how to copy and paste in middle school!"
Rain and Marty: "Tell me about it!"
Rain: "I just don't think there's any hope for this woman!"
Okay. I can make it. Only....3 more hours? Son of a !!!!!!
hahaha And poor Rain, she was finally free, and ran the hell out of the office, leaving only a trail of papers behind her.
We're not sure if she'll be back.
haha (I should note, Rain doesn't really curse like this (that's me and my sailor-mouth), and really cracks me up when she does get flustered, because she's still so nice about it. Unlike Salt and myself, who really need to learn to refrain a bit. haha)
God Bless, Rain!
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