Sci-Fi Geek? Heck Yes!

Dalton Ross had a great article at ew.com; I recommend checking him (and the site) out regularly. I thought It'd be fun to take Dalton's little 'test.'
My comments in red.

(Article by Dalton Ross)

Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica wrapped up recently, yet no matter how often the drama transcends the science fiction genre, there are scores of people who refuse to watch any show set on a starship. I'm the exact opposite: a true sci-fi junkie. I'll check out pretty much anything that features lasers and people dressed in stupid rubber alien costumes, and I'm not ashamed to admit it....

(Me too, Dalton! Though I have not gotten into Battlestar Galactica yet; Does being into the one that came on TV when I was a kid count?? I had the action figures! Lorne Greene!)

Actually, what am I talking about? I'm totally ashamed. It's embarrassing as hell to be that dude at a party waving his hand in front of his face and proclaiming that ''these aren't the droids you're looking for,'' only to receive a group of blank stares in return. Such is the life of a geek, I suppose.

(Hey! Never be ashamed to quote Star Wars. Star Wars is The Gospel. haha)

But misery loves company, and I'm fairly confident that there are plenty of other science fiction lovers out there, even if they don't want to admit that they're part of our exclusive fraternity of freaks. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (although really, shouldn't he be the one apologizing to us for all he's done?), you might be a sci-fi geek if...

You own not one but two V miniseries on DVD, or if you understood a single word coming out of the mouth of the old computer-program dude (the Architect, if you want to get technical — and if you want to get technical then you truly are a geek) at the end of The Matrix Reloaded. Here are some other signs that you're a science fiction nerd, and remember, resistance is futile.

(I would have called him The Architect right away, but I still do not understand the last Matrix film, and Geeks will not explain it to me. Loved V as a kid, don't own, but would love to see again.)

— You're undoubtedly a Dorkus Maximus if you have ever substituted terms like ''frak'' (Battlestar Galactica) and ''frell'' (Farscape) for actual down-to-earth curse words. Your intergalactic potty mouth should be immediately rinsed out with soap, or at the very least rinsed out with something manly like...I don't know. What do manly people drink, Jack Daniel's?

(haha! I don't watch Farscape either. Ok, maybe I'm NOT a Pure Geek. If I were to use a sci-fi curse term, it'd be...Nerf Herder! haha Ok, I don't know any sci-fi curse terms.)

— While we're discussing beverages, if you have ever put food coloring into your drinks to make them look like the funky space cocktails served at Quark's bar, then you are most definitely drunk on dorkiness. Actually, come to think of it, if you even know what the hell Quark's bar is, you qualify.

(Loved Quark...and the actor who played him.)

— If you have ever at any point in your life donned Spock ears, proceed immediately to the end of this column. No further testing is required.

(No, never did that. But, I carried Han Solo's gun around (the life-sized replica); does that count?)

— Do you enjoy mercilessly mocking Jar Jar Binks, yet sometimes catch yourself humming the melody from the Ewoks' celebratory jingle, ''Yub Yub''? It may be time to take a long, hard look in the mirror...after you remove your oversize Wicket W. Warrick costume, that is.

(I loved the Ewoks! Was not a Jar Jar fan. Hoped Darth Maul would split Jar Jar in two.)

— Speaking of which, if you have ever carried on a conversation that contained the phrase ''midi-chlorians,'' then the Force (of geekdom) is strong with you, my friend.

The Force is very strong with me. People have actually told me this. haha (They have, for real. They're Nerds too.)

— I pray for your soul if you have found yourself in the awkward position of mounting a defense for The Arrival (featuring a goatee-rocking Charlie Sheen) with an argument that goes something along the lines of ''Seriously, it's not that bad. See, the global-warming thing is not our fault after all. It's the aliens, man! The aliens!'' (Not that I ever did that or anything.)

HaHa! I may have seen that one, as well as other 'bad' sci-fi alien invasion flicks. But I never defended them. Yet.

— Enjoy penning fan fiction? Go take a seat next to the Vulcan-ear posse.

I'm actually opposed to Fan Fiction, because I view the original writers' vision as perfect, and to even attempt to mess with that is blasphemy. haha I need help.

— Are you able to decipher each of the following acronyms: TNG, HRG, ESB, BSG, TARDIS, and — this one's a toughie — CSM? Congrats, you're one of us.

The Next Generation, Empire Strikes Back, BattleStar Galactica, and Cigarette Smoking Man.

Ha! Missed two.

They say there is strength in numbers, but I'm guessing most of us are not the pumping-iron types. Nonetheless, the next time you are mocked for knowing the difference between ''warp drive'' and ''hyperdrive,'' rest assured you have a fellow nerdling willing to get your back. (P.S. Hyperdrive is cooler.)

Hyperdrive IS cooler.

'Nuff said.

:)

May The Force Be With You, fellow Geeks.

Geeks are Awesome!

Never forget it.

:)