A Few of My Favorite Things, Part One

Hi All,
I learned a valuable lesson last night: When you've been healthy all week (really, really healthy) and then you do go out to eat, split the dessert. For the Love of God, split it! We went to Applebee's, which has a killer dessert: The Maple Butter Blondie. If you've never had this, you're missing one of life's great pleasures. But my body was confused. Why the sugar all of a sudden? I neglected to split this, as I generally can down this puppy in about 2 minutes flat. ha But I think my stomach's shrinking or something, because I was as full as a tick after. And after I went home, I had the oddest sugar rush. I guess that's what you'd call it. It was like I was insanely tired and insanely wired all at the same time. Good Lord, those chemicals and blood sugar need to give it a rest! haha I guess it was the sugar. Anyway, it was a great meal, and a great dessert. Just, split the damned thing next time! Don't be such a sugar-craving maniac. haha
Oh no. I'm giving myself advice. Dangerous territory. So, thanks to certain people (who shall remain nameless, AHEM..) who got me to thinking about great Madonna songs, I came home and cranked out some old tunes of hers. I forgot 'Deeper and Deeper!' One of M's best songs. Heck. Making a list of Madonna's greatest songs for me is like making a list of the greatest literary characters. Nearly impossible to do. But alas! Here, I'm going to try.

My Favorite Literary Characters

*Disclaimer: I haven't read all of the 'classics,' especially where Brit Lit is concerned. My passion has always been American Lit, but even with that, I haven't read everything. I read a lot, but there's still so much more out there. My dream would be to read every book ever written. How awesome would that be?? There are so many talented writers out there. Here's a sampling of the ones that influenced me or overwhelmed me.

1) Jane Eyre (from Jane Eyre). Brilliant, passionate, and the first real Feminist character. I saw myself when Bronte described Jane sitting in the window seat reading, curtain drawn. How many times did I get lost in a book like that? Many, many times. I also saw myself in what Jane wanted from Rochester: an Equal.

2) Edward Rochester (from Jane Eyre). Which brings me to the man himself! He was Jane's match, and what a match he was! Strong, equally as passionate as Jane, intelligent, and handsome. And he lived in a really great old spooky house! The Gothic setting was perfect for their tumultuous courtship and the drama that unfolded. Just don't watch 'Wide Sargasso Sea,' based on a book of the same name, about Rochester before he met Jane. That's one of those 'Oh My God, What Was Wrong With Me When I Bought This?' type of movies. I bought it, on an impulse, thinking it would be cool. It wasn't. It portrayed Rochester as a sex-starved playboy. You just can't do that to my Rochester! (See how much I care about these imaginary characters? Do I need help? Possibly. ha)

3) Prince Hamlet, of Denmark (from Hamlet). Hamlet is so full of anguish, guilt, and revenge-fantasy that he misses every cue from others that they're onto him. And I loved being with him every step of the way. In high school, I read this play for fun. For fun. My English teacher loved me. (smiles) I couldn't put it down, though. It's the best thing Shakespeare did, in my opinion. But MacBeth is a close second. Come to think of it, did Shakespeare ever write anything bad? I think not.

4) Jay Gatsby (from The Great Gatsby). As he stared at the green light at the end of the dock (Daisy's light), my heart broke for him. Such a tragic figure, and such a great character amidst the excess that was the '20's. If I could go back in time to any era, I'd want to go to the '20's. Well, after I went to Egypt during the reign of Queen Neffertiti. Get working on that time machine, will you? Somebody?

5) Hester Prynne (from The Scarlet Letter. Everyone's favorite sinner: Hester followed her passion and it got her into major trouble. This novel is so full of Guilt, it makes Catholics look lighthearted. ha The moment that takes my breath away, though, is at the end: "In a field, sable, the letter A, scarlet." What an image that is!

6) Huckleberry Finn (from Huckleberry Finn). He was the Every Boy, and his story told us a lot about America in general. As he travels the river with Jim, we nod along as we see his growth and the importance of his journey. Isn't that what life's all about? It's not the destination, it's the journey. As the saying goes.

7) Roderick Usher (from 'The Fall of the House of Usher'). Why am I huge fan of horror and suspense? Because of this man. Edgar Allan Poe was truly beyond his time. He wove such tales of suspense, they stayed in my head for years after. To this day, I get chills when I think about the sound of scraping as Usher's sister is trying to get out of the tomb she's been prematurely buried alive in. Nearly all of Poe's narrators and main characters were a little 'off,' and paranoid, but Usher takes the cake. He's so obviously insane, I love him. I used Poe's Paranoid Narrator idea for some of my characters. It's just such a great technique. One day, I'll have to do an analysis of my favorite works by Poe, since he's my favorite American writer. It's fun to pretend I'm in college again. ha

8) Tyler Durden (from Fight Club). After 9/11, my brother said he couldn't watch 'Fight Club' anymore. He said, Tyler is basically a terrorist, and who needs to see more of that? Well, yes, Tyler is a revolutionary. And some might consider him a terrorist. But he didn't blow up buildings with people in them. His point was much deeper than that. He wanted The System to go away, so that something better could exist for us all. I understood Tyler a lot better from reading the book. And I still think, even after 9/11, that this was a great film, and a great book. And a great character. The fact that he looks like Brad Pitt helps. ha

9) Holden Caulfield (from The Catcher In The Rye). The classic Unreliable Narrator, and the symbol for angst for many a high schooler. Holden wants to be the catcher in the rye, the guy that saves kids from the bad stuff. If only he could save himself.

10) Hermione Granger (from all of the Harry Potter books). Before I get yells of, 'WHAT??' Let me explain. Yes, I am a Harry Potter nerd too. Is there anything geeky I DON'T like? Well, I don't know much about Dungeons and Dragons, is that something? haha We all love Harry, but for me Hermione has always been the smart center of the books. She's always saving Harry's ass, always supporting him, and is always blowing me away with her braininess. Have I mentioned? Intelligence is the most attractive quality I can think of. And she might not be as high on the totem pole as these others I mentioned, in terms of clout, but J.K. Rowling will go down as the greatest fantasy writer of our time. Watch me be right about that!


11) Narrator (from The Yellow Wallpaper). Honorary number 11. ('This one goes all the way to 11.' 'Spinal Tap.') What can I say? I love a study in insanity and mental instability. I could also put Plath's narrator from The Bell Jar here too. Why am I fascinated with people who are not quite 'normal' in the head? Because I've yet to hear a good definition of what 'normal' is. I think it's agreed that people who cause violence on others aren't at a 'healthy' place. But people who go to dark places sometimes, and don't hurt others, those I tend to understand. I can get to some pretty dark places myself at times.

I'm sure I left off thousands of great characters. But these are my favorites, chosen because I could read about them for days on end, never stopping, and be content. They're truly great to me because they're well-developed, and their stories mean something to me personally. I'm sure we all have stories like that-ones we just hate to be parted from.
That's how I felt when I wrote The Sensation Inside and Fearscape. I love those characters, and was sad when it ended. Well, there's always room for sequels! ha

Characters I'd Just As Soon Not See
1) Anybody from A Portrait of a Lady. I hate this book. H-a-t-e. It goes on record as the only book I could not finish. I'm obsessive about having to read books, cover to cover. But this was so dull and overdone, I couldn't stand it. I loved the movie version though. Jane Campion and Nicole Kidman? Excellent combo.
2) Anybody from Moby Dick. Shoot the damned whale, already! haha I love the symbolism in this novel, but man! Was it a hard read.
3) Any character from a 'Romance' novel. One-dimensional, generic, and oversexed. I get emails from AWAI telling me I could have a career as a Romance novel writer at times. I shudder.
4) Any character who speaks in an impossible dialect. If your name ain't Twain or Faulkner, don't try it. I've read novels where people tried to write from the POV of a mentally-challenged person, or someone with a thick accent, and it didn't work.
5) Characters from classic TV shows turned into 'Some guy's version' of that character. If your name ain't Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz, or one of the other X Files writers, don't write Scully for me. Please. We both know that's just wrong. Ditto to Star Wars writers. Fanfic in general. If you didn't create the character, leave it to the people who did. Not that all Fanfic is bad. I wrote a few scenes myself based on a character from a movie once. But the whole time I kept thinking, "Why am I using someone else's character? I've got plenty of my own!" I guess that's how I got on the path I'm on.


Well! I hope any literary types who read this post will appreciate it.
I'm such a wannabe critic!

Have a great day, especially you fathers out there.
Good for you, dads!