All Wet

Hi All,
It was on this day in 1983 that I was baptized, and I like to remember it every year. We did the 'sprinkle' method, where you have water sprinkled on your head by the minister. Thank Goodness I didn't have to get dunked under. I would've hated to have ruined a nice Easter dress. Dateline had an interesting story last night on the new book 'The Jesus Papers,' wherein the author surmises that Jesus actually survived the crucifixion and lived a normal life after.

???????

His theory goes, and this was a new one on me, that the disciples as well as Pilate were 'in on' the whole 'hoax.' When Jesus was given something to drink (vinegar), it was 'actually' some sort of opiate designed to knock him out so he'd appear dead. Then later, after he was in the tomb, they worked on him to heal his wounds. People usually stayed on the cross for 3 days; they argue that his time was too short, only a few hours. That was due to the torture he endured beforehand, Christian scholars agrue back. I argue: You'd die quickly too if you had the sins of the world on your shoulders. Supposedly there was a paper found in Jerusalem that provided proof that Jesus was alive 10 years after the crucifixion. And supposedly this letter they found was written by Jesus, telling someone that the plan succeeded, etc.
'Unfortunately,' this author has no proof of any of his claims. He says he met with a Jewish man who had a home in Jerusalem and who showed him these papers which were found when the house was excavated. But this man made a deal with The Vatican to keep all of this under wraps.

Talk about your paranoid conspiracy theories! So if this author is to be believed, the whole thing was an elaborate hoax designed to make trillions of people believe that an ordinary man was actually God. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't subject myself to being nailed to anything for the plot of convincing people I was God. I mean, they didn't have CGI at that time, or special effects, or any way to fake putting nails and a spear into someone. I'd have to be truly insane. Which is the worst of what this theory seems to imply: that Jesus was really an insane person who wanted to fool the world. In short, this is the type of heretical theory I would expect from atheists.

If I had been interviewing this author, I would have asked:
How do you explain the peace and unconditional love that I feel from God in my heart, then?
Don't try to tell me that's just some chemical impulse. I read a lot about the chemicals that work in our minds, because I want to understand what makes me tick. And there is a certain scientific truth as to how said chemicals affect our moods and our thoughts.
But what I feel from God (Jesus) is not something I can really put into words.
It's the purest thing there is. I don't always follow The Book. And I don't always follow The Church. But I do follow The Man, because He is so much more than that. That's why I got baptized 23 years ago. Not because of something I read, or something someone told me. Because He's the only one that has saved me, hundreds of times over now.

I hope the sermonizing didn't offend anyone. It's just how I feel. I respect that author's right to feel differently. But man....that's one wild theory.

Wild Easter Theories
1) The Easter Bunny is actually Br'er Rabbit on an ego trip
2) Peeps are cows' revenge on chickens. Cows really dislike chickens.
3) Willy Wonka really invented Easter, so that his profits would soar.
4) The original symbol of Easter was the Aardvark. But chocolate Aardvarks were just too hard to make.
5) The whole tradition of not wearing white until after Easter originated with Joan Thompson, Southern Housewife and fashion plate. Joan was known to be the morose type and loved to wear black. When she married on Easter Sunday, she wore white as a bride, and the tradition was born. Townspeople said, "Who is she kidding? That whore." but still Joan wore white. She went back to her traditional black on Labor Day, also The Day The Sailors Came Into Town. She figured she couldn't keep up the charade any longer. That whore.

haha

Have a great day!