Now THAT's Customer Service

Hi All,

When I first went out into the workforce sixteen years ago, I was just an eager teenager. Much like when I was not yet 'a woman' and couldn't wait to 'be more mature' and get my first period (what was WRONG with me???), I couldn't wait to 'be more mature' and take on the responsibility of a job. Bean tells me I must learn, if I learn nothing else from her, to not be so naive in life. Well, hindsight is 20/20, right?

I actually enjoyed my very first job, which was in a local grocery store. This is where I met and became fast friends with The Bean. So, good memories there. Bean tells me I would be off in the store zoning the shelves, and she'd call me to the register, needing a bagger (That was my job. I was a grocery bagger), and I'd come around the corner angry as a hornet at being disturbed. haha I remember these instances, and yes, I was mad at being disturbed. All I ask in a job is to be left alone to do my work! ha

So the CC role has been a good one, us having our own cubes and working pretty much independently. I've had so many roles here, it's almost unbelievable. They constantly tell us they want flexibility. I counted in my head, and in six years, I've learned eleven different systems and have had eleven different roles within the department, including one semi-supervisory position. Flexible, and a fast learner? I should think so! All of that for sad wages. Sheesh. But, I make more now than I did as a teacher, so I can't complain. Teachers really get the shaft.

Along the way, I've always told people that I loved to write. I've had a few kind supervisors who encouraged me in this area, and tried to help me get into writing roles (but alas, the copywriter position eludes me). One of my roles along the way was to draft email templates and letters in response to customer issues. We got some hilarious letters, let me tell you.

I'm going to print here a copy of a 'response' that a good friend of mine wrote. He never sent it to the customer, of course, as he didn't really want to be written up or fired. But it was the funniest response I ever read.

The customer's initial letters are too long to reproduce here, but the jist of it was, he had ordered a four Haydn CDs, one of which was not yet delivered, and it had apparently become lost in the mail. Our guideline states that we must wait 15 days from the ship date to declare an item lost in the mail, after which the customer gets a refund, or we do an investigation with the USPS. We told him this, in our responses. He was apparently an intellectual type who used terms like 'this is a red herring' and 'the claim of a lost CD is simply a straw man argument' and 'Now that your technique of making argument which is a slight modification of an 'argumenteum ex silentio.'

So, this guy reaaally needed to get out into the real world and put the books down! I'm all in favor of being an intellectual, but this guy sounded like he had major thorns in his a**. And he misspelled 'technically' ('tachnically') about three times.

The response, which I wish to God we had sent:

Dear Customer:

Thank you for emailing circuitcity.com. Several of us have had the opportunity to read your emails, and have found them quite amusing. So, really, thank you for writing.

Regarding your lost CD, well....we didn't want to admit this right away, but we actually stole it. Right out of the box. Frankly, at Circuit City, we're huge fans of Haydn, and needed this one to complete our collection. As far as sending you a new one goes, well, it's just not going to happen. We really wish it didn't have to be this way, but it does. You've been taken advantage of, and we win, fair and square. If you would like to pursue this in a de facto habeus corpus manner, through which you argue Nietche's uber-man theorem in protest of Ahkem's Razor, please do. Quite honestly, that was our favorite part of your last email. The straw man thing had us in stitches.

Long story short, you're getting nothing from us. So tachincally, we win. (Learn to spell, jerk.)

Sincerely,
All of Us
Customer Support Coordinators


haha

It always amazes me that there are some who have difficulty with customer service here. The problem seems to be, they take it personally when a customer gets angry with them. There's really a very basic and common-sense way to deal with every customer situation (even the ones where they are literally cursing you out):

1) Focus on what the customer needs, and let them know that it is your job to help them, no matter what, and that is what you are doing.

2) Treat the customer the way you expect to be treated; always with the utmost respect. It's called, common sense and a basic moral code. I don't know about people today, but I was taught to respect every human being I come into contact with, regardless. If someone treats me poorly, that doesn't mean my attitude can change. I still have to respect them. That, I learned from my parents.

3) Never take it personally, and it's gone from your mind as soon as you clock out for the day. This is why I could not stay in teaching. I cared too much about the students and felt like a complete failure when some of them had no desire to learn. I internalized it too much, and cared too much. But from my first call here at CC, I knew not to let it bother me. And it doesn't. I've never had a customer curse me personally because I know how to handle them. And when they curse the situation, I sympathize, because usually, they have a legitimate complaint.


But these days, I deal in services and some sales rather than complaints, so it's a piece of cake. I love having a completely stress-free job. People used to marvel that I came here, to this department, to get away from stress. People consider this to be a stressful environment. I can't disagree more. They don't know stress until they've had a classroom of General-Ed ninth graders who would just as soon get into a brawl as listen to anything the teacher had to say.

And oh yeah...I haven't paid for a CD or DVD since I started, because they constantly offer gift cards for work completed, and I'm compulsive and efficient in closing a lot of cases. The TV, I paid for, but at a nice discount.

Here's hoping your jobs are as entertaining as mine can be.


Fun Customers
1) People who cry over a $10 charge (a woman actually did this, literally cried)
2) People who say they'll get you fired (I've been told this twice; it's never happened)
3) People who think you should invent the wheel for them (it's retail..people!)
4) People who say they'll go to the news or picket the store. Have fun!
5) People who demand to speak to the CEO, when you know that the only thing that will happen is that they are sent to another team of reps just like yourself, who have the same abilities you do (less, actually)

Have a great day!