Zen 2008

Always we hope someone else has the answer. Some other place will be better, it will all turn out. This is it. No one else has the answer. No other place will be better, and it has already turned out.

Lao-Tzu

I got a calendar of "Zen" quotes for 2008. I figured, we all need Zen these days. As much as I like my job, I find the repetition boring at this point. So, I'm trying to make sure my brain does not die of boredom. I read, of course. And I'm a lifetime learner, so I like to research things. I can feel the inspiration coming back, to write. I can only write what comes out, and I never know when that will be. I'm just glad it comes.

This quote above, is akin to the line from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, where Yoda tells Luke he's always looking to the future, like his father was. Never in the "now." We do that a lot, don't we? We tell ourselves that if only we had this, or that, life would be so much better. But life is great now, just as it is. Even in the darkest moments, we look for the light. I'll admit I'm one that wants more. I have a drive in me that's been there my whole life, and will not fade. I want things to be a certain way. I'm learning that it's not going to happen, though. My ideas of how things should be won't come to fruition. And that's ok. I'm smart enough to know that it's not up to me.

I'm not sure what this year will bring. Bean may move away, or she may not. Either way, Bean and I linked like twins so I doubt we'll ever be very far apart, in spirit, if nothing else. My employer might go under. I might have to start a new job, when I finally had one I loved (mostly). A co-worker might finally ask me out, and who knows where that might lead. Hopefully, to the sack. hahaha (Just Kidding! Sheesh! I'm no whore.)

By the time I turn 35, I'll have a much healthier body (Thank God).
Ah, possibilities. I guess I'm still ruminating on a new year.
But see? I'm not living in the now.

In the now, I'm just here, waiting for lunch to be over. So I can get back to work. I prefer to keep the mind busy. Still, it races. But this time, it races with good thoughts. I'll try to keep that going.

Have a great eve.